


Wow, they weren't joking about those chemicals, huh?

by AlexaTheNewt



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Infowars - Fandom, Persona 5, Ram Ranch - Fandom
Genre: Anal Sex, Background Ben Shapiro/Jordan Peterson, Chapter 3, Crack, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pshhhhhhh, THAT TURNED THE FRICKING ALEX JONES GAY, THE PLACE WHERE TOPS GO TO DIE, This isn't, no beta we die like zeppelis, they put chemicals in the water
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:33:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26365753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexaTheNewt/pseuds/AlexaTheNewt
Summary: Alex Jones needs that sweet sweet orange juice ;)
Relationships: Alex Jones/Donald Trump, Komaeda Nagito/Sans (Undertale), Nagito Komaeda & Sans (Undertale)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 11





	1. Chapter 1

Alex Jones was thirsty.

He had a **_long_** , **_hard_** , _**strenuous**_ day.

First CNN posted an article about how gay couples should have the right to adopt children. Fools! Everyone who isn't a brainwashed libtard knows that LGBTQ are an evil virus of Satan! Then one of Dennis Prager, our dear headmaster of one of the realest real colleges on the planet, our good dark overlord of urine and feces, decided to...post a video on Youtube. A site with a red logo. RED! The same color on the flag of China! And that one country that wasn't America. And that other one. And to top it all off, Onision didn't invite him to his birthday party! The nerve! At least he was going to Donald-senpai's party. He was quite sure it was going to be way better!

But first, he had to get water.

He left for the water fountain, and upon reching the destination bent over to take a slow...deliberate sip...

The water felt so moist running down Jones's greedy gullet...Or something...

Jones needed to stop having those thoughts

He bent over to drink again, eyes rolled back with want...of a perfectly tasty bit of water.

What were these thoughts?

Why was he having them?

These weren't the thoughts of an epic MGTOW God Of Destruction-MLG Form!

These were the thoughts of....a homosexual...

Jones began crying.

Not your run of the mill whiny libtard tears. No Giant, oversized, manly tears. Tears that were only rivaled in nature by the tears of God exactly 4206.9 years ago, when he realized that one day he would have to kill off Twilight Sparkle in My Little Pony.

He sat there and sobbed his glorious tears of divine justice and rage at ZA WARUDO when

all of a sudden

HE CAME

The President of the United States of Murica, Donald J Trump. The man who has almost made enough libtards cry as the Great Benjamin Sharpie, (Who is currently pounding Jordan B Peterson's delectable self-lubing omega asshole with ~~_**FACTS AND LOGIC!!!!!111!!!!!**_~~ ) He slowly...no...seductively walks towards Jones, ready for what cums next (lol hehe funny shrekx joke 696969696696)

"Hello there" POTUS says seductively.

"UWU OWO AWA UWO OWU AWO AWU !!!!!11111!!!11111" says Jones, eager for what cums next. 

"I see you are hard already" the shrekxy beast in front of jones says with a smile that made his long hard throbbing personality erupt then and there.

But more fun was soon to cum as the former lover of Putin pulled his JiffyLubetm Super Ultra Hyper Mega Instacum lube straight on his erect member and rammed it directly up Jones's tight, wet asshole. "aaah trump daddy uwuawaowo!" Jones said, lips parted in a dirty ahegao, tounge lolling out of his mouth. But then, as all god things must do, it cumes to a head. AAAAAH IM CUMMING RAWR EXDEE LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111111111111!!!!!!!!!!! said jones.

After basking in the glorious afterglow, Trump finally tells Jones the location of his party...

_**RAM RANCH** _

**===To be continued== >**


	2. The Arrival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why am I here? Just to suffer?

The first thing Alex Jones noticed when he woke up was that he was on a plane

The second thing he noticed was the massive dick in his ass.

“Trump-senpaiiiiiiiiiii nu, why would you do this to me while I was asleep?”

“You just looked so shrexy I couldn’t help myself” The orange man said

The pilot turned around “We are reaching T H E R A N C H.”

The plane slowly, no, seductively landed on the raised platform outside of Ram Ranch.

They walked on to the sacred pastures, Trump still having his big hard throbbin cock in Jones’ tight moist bootyhole. There they saw their friends Ben and Jordan going at it hard, cum jetting from Jordan’s peepee and fertilizing the land. “Hello there! Donald Pepe Trump MRA. NET!” Benjamin Sharpie said breathily, as he was slamming Jordan P Beterson into the fertile ground of Ram Ranch.

They saw others as well, other humans being gay and doing crimes. He caught a glimpse of The Second Detective Prince, currently being DETROIT SMASHED by ALL MIGHT. They saw Steven Universe doing… Nothing. Just vibin by a tree ig. ¨Big mood¨, an edgy voice called from the shadows. It was……….Shadow the HogHedge. 

“LQIEFJHG:QIEUGHVQEfgliurlkudhliuwelieuhlkhblhVLCOUTYFLHVOTU”, Jones said as he ascended to a higher plane of existence.

“The big boss wants you” Shadow said sultrily.” He then beckoned them to follow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
They crossed the oddly phallic shaped area known as the Cum Dispensory, the oddly phallic shaped Studio of Cunning Linguists and the oddly phallic shaped Pavillion of THE E

Soon they approached the Erection, the largest oddly phallic shaped building in the world. There they saw him. Nagitoe Cumaeda, flanked by Sanes Undertale. 

Trump ran away screaming. So did Alex, but he was blocked by Cockitchy Owoma. 

Ominous music started playing. The ground opened up and V O R E D Alex Jones

===To be continued==>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRN MMMMMMMY DREEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDDd


End file.
